GRATITUDE

Tonight my heart is overflowing with love and gratitude. With an overwhelming amount of acknowledgment for the blessings in my life and the purpose of them.

Seven years ago I took my first steps into an old, smelly, absolutely incredible junior high school. I couldn't have even begun to imagine the types of people I would meet or the friends I would make. But let me tell you. In those three years of awkward stages and growing up, I was blessed with some of the most amazing people in my life. With those people came unexplainable memories, trust, and so much love.

A few years later, I entered the high school alongside my favorite people. And lo and behold, our little friend family grew. With every laugh, every hug, every inside joke, it grew. And it grew and it grew and it grew. Once again, I was blessed with an amazing support group who was just as silly as they were serious.

I can't begin to tell you the love and gratitude that formed in my heart for those people. Sure, there were rough times, but never without a wonderful experience to take over.

Fast forward a few more years. These outstanding people, the ones I had come to adore, were leaving. One by one they flew to different parts of the world. One by one they began a journey of sharing happiness, and one by one I came to love them more. 

I would (and still do) go to pick up my phone and text them something that made me think of them, something that I was feeling, and something that only they would understand. I would do this only to be struck with the fact that they would never recieve the text message I was sending. Why? Because they were out serving the Lord. They were growing.

So here I am. A couple years later, and they have started to return home. My heart could not be any fuller. The conversations I once thought were deep, have matured. The love I had for them has multiplied ten fold along with my appreciation for their friendships. 

Now, in a month it will be my turn to leave. I will not recieve their spur of the moment text messages, I won't experience school moments or crazy adventures with them, but I will love them more. I will understand their motivation, and I will come to recognize so much more.

Tonight, as I sat in the home of one of my first junior high friends, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude. We laughed, we had deep conversations, but most importantly, we came together once again. 

I wish more than anything words could express the feelings of the heart. I wish they could understand how truly thankful I am. The words of advice, the concern, the support... The Savior sent these extrordinary people into my life to teach me the greatness of friendship; to show me that the world has a brilliant light in the midst of darkness. And for that? For that I am speechless in the most perfect way.

17,531 Hours

The air is heavy, my lungs are drowning in the moment. The silence is melancholy, with words lingering in the atmosphere. The hug that lasts a little longer than usual, the hands that remain locked together for as long as they can, the kiss on the cheek that means the world; It's the moment I dread and look forward to all at the same time. I've gone through it time and time again. It's torn my heart to pieces and scattered them across the world. It's always an unexpected emotion, a heartbreak, and a genuine excitement. The letters in the mail, the notification of an email, the update on Facebook, the little reminders that I'm blessed with worthy, inspired, absolutely incredible friends. I've fallen in love with testimony after testimony, stories and advice; I've fallen in love with all my boys. As I said goodbye to the last of them to go out into the mission field today, I also began the two month countdown for my little family of friends to make their way back home. Two years.  730 days. 17,531 hours. 1,051,897 minutes. It goes by a lot quicker than I could have ever imagined. Through them, I've grown, I've understood, I've learned, and I've gained a greater testimony and love for my Savior and the hastening of the work. Words cannot express how proud I am of each and every one of those missionaries, and there is not a doubt in my mind that the Lord is proud beyond measure too.

photo

God be with you til we meet again, Elders.

The Weekend + Easter

+ Minus from my dad, I got flowers for the first time from the male gender.

+ German chocolate has tickled my taste buds all weekend. 

+ I got to catch up with a friend who just returned from his LDS mission. (hence the chocolate from Germany)

+ I shopped until I dropped (literally) at City Creek with my madre and sister.

+ While shopping, I bought the most amazing dress, ON SALE. Praise to the clearance heavens.

+ Happened upon the cutest old time candy store. Hello sugar bliss.

+ Took the traditional Easter pictures with the fam. (Yay for self timer fails.)

 

+ Visited my mom for the afternoon.

+ Had Easter dinner with the extended family.

+ And lastly, I got to celebrate the life of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful to be a part of this gospel, and to have the knowledge that I do. I'm grateful for the atonement. I know the strength that comes from it, the healing, and the blessings. I know that my Redeemer lives, and I need him every hour. I am His child, and I strive to walk in the light of His love. "He is risen! He is risen! He hath opened heaven's gate. We are free from sin's dark prison, Risen to a holier state. And a brighter Easter beam, on our longing eyes shall stream." Oh, how I love Him! Happiest of Easter's to you!

photo via Mark Mabry

Nostalgia

It's 12:35 at night. I run out the front door to pull my car into the garage and am hit with a wave of memories. It freezes me. I stand still, taking in the moment, closing my eyes to replay the past. The clear, star filled sky, the temperature, the time of night. A scene I have taken in so many times before, but never having been thrown into reminiscence. A smile unconsciously spreads across my face as I continue walking to my car. Barefoot on the asphalt, I carefully choose my steps. My memories swimming to the warm nights of meeting outside my house, sitting in the back of the truck, watching for shooting stars and laughing about all the silly high school people and classes. The constant swatting of mosquitoes and spur of the moment decision to drive to the quarter pop machines, singing country music all the way there. Pushing nickels and dimes into the coin slot and then not even drinking the pop we chose. Just going for the ride. Living in happiness and fun, enjoying good company.

(PC - writteninthemidst )

It's 6:00 in the evening, and my doorbell rings. Dad is in the kitchen preparing to make dinner, and my siblings are arguing about unimportant things. I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I'm pleasantly surprised to see two handsome boys of whom I've known for the longest time. The unexpected company of two of the most incredible best friends I've ever had. Naturally, I let them in with a warm hug, and take them into my living room. The sound of laughter begins bouncing off every wall, the guitar strings constantly being plucked, and singing at the top of their lungs. They sing and sing and I can't help but fall in love with the moment, realizing this would be one of the last for a couple of years. They stay for dinner (they always showed up at dinner time...) and we reminisce. Reminisce about the freaky looking tiki statue they brought home for me from their trip to Hawaii (it was the God of Fertility... like, what the heck?), about the time they took me 'coning' for the first time up at the high school, and about how they were leaving to serve missions. The daylight had slowly faded away, and I forced them to take a picture with me before they headed home. Oh, how they hated it, but I didn't care. I loved them, and I wanted that night to last forever.

It's 5:50 p.m. and I'm sitting at work, counting down the minutes until I can close. I've laughed with people, helped pick out super cute outfits (that I wish were going into my closet instead) for people, and talked with some of my dearest lifelong friends. I've looked through every Facebook picture I've uploaded, and had a constant stream of memories make their way back into my mind. Some good, some bad, but all there. I'm so grateful that we get to remember things; to feel the emotions we felt when they happened, and to cherish that moment in time. Because, how sad would life be if we couldn't remember all the things that made us happy?

What's made you happy today?

Believe in the Good

Does it frustrate anybody else that the world seems to revolve around money?

You need food to live, you need money to buy said food.

You can't run around naked (dangit! jjuusstt kidding), so you need money to buy clothes.

Get an education, but pay thousands of dollars to attend.

Need to go somewhere? Go use the money you're barely hangin on with to buy some gas.

Want to do something fun? Treat yourself to something nice? I'm sorry, you don't have the means until next paycheck.

No need for me to go on. You know the frustration.

I have these unpleasant thoughts more frequently than I'd care to admit, and I hope I'm not the only one.

But as this reoccurring thought was swimming through my head today, I happened upon this video on good 'ole Facebook, and it enlightened my soul! 

We (...I) spend too much time doing things for the reward and/or the recognition. Don't get me wrong, I love so much to do things without all the hype afterwords. Being the "Unsung Hero", but I think it's human nature to be that way a little bit. After watching this video, my thoughts and goals have changed. Do things for the emotion. Be the good, and believe in the good. Like M. Russell Ballard said in the April 2011 General Conference talk Finding Joy through Loving Service, " Great things are wrought through simple and small things. Like the small flecks of gold that accumulate over time into a large treasure, our small and simple acts of kindness and service will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy each time we reach out to one another." 

Doesn't this just warm your heart? It sure does mine. I hope we all can try a little harder to act on our promptings and have a greater desire to serve, no matter what the outcome!

And because this weather is PRIME, Happy Spring!

Yay for blooming yards!

"The Why"

Lately I have been so grateful that missionaries have the opportunity to use Facebook .

Not only do I love that they can connect with so many other people,

 but I love how my feed is constantly filled with spiritually uplifting thoughts, 

challenges, and service. 

I feel like negativity has become more and more visible, and it makes me really sad. 

Sure, I hide people, or unfriend them so I'm not constantly seeing negative posts,

 but it's outweighing social media. I love the inspiring messages the missionaries share, 

and after thinking about this, I was reminded of a poem my very dear friend Lewis wrote. 

In his farewell talk, he was confident, excited, and more than ready to serve the Lord in Croatia. 

The spirit was very strong, and I smiled the entire time. He then shared his poem, 

and it hit me so hard. Tears were shed, and I knew I had to keep a copy of it.

Now I want to share it with you, in hopes that it might affect you in some way.

We all should strive to be missionaries, and bring hope into the lives around us.

In touching just one life, we have the power to touch many.

The Why

By Lewis Sheridan

Priesthood service is one of God's greatest gifts.

It gives us the chance to lead the lost and to lift.

Brothers and sisters bring God's flag of truth unfurled,

so that the Priesthood can bless every soul of the world.

The power of God to bless, comfort and heal,

if only I could express in words how grateful I feel.

I'll use this power and listen to my heart,

to find one lost brother who's wondering where thou art.

Although some will not listen and I'll try and I'll try,

If only they could understand Christ's sacrifice and remember the why.

I am beyond grateful to have so many worth, inspiring, missionary friends in my life!

Through letters, Facebook posts, and emails,

they affect my life everyday.